I am unhappy because no matter how hard I work I can’t have the life I want. My husband and I both have good jobs but struggle to pay our mortgage, bills and school fees and barely scrape together enough for our annual holidays. Everyone else we went to school and uni with seems to be doing better than us. I am ashamed of our out of date furniture and our kitchen, which hasn’t been renovated for nearly 15 years! My husband feels inadequate when our friends buy investment properties and better stuff than us and now because of our feelings of inadequacy the spark has gone from our relationship. What can I do?
If there is one thing that Human Beings are particularly good at it is complicating things. HB’s are so good at focusing on their discontent and attending to their addictions that the majority of them, generally, have no idea or interest in recognising anything more than that.
This is easy for me to say, I know, I’m just a spark. My primary purpose is to observe and inspire. It’s not tangibly possible for me, nor would I care to get caught up in all the nitty gritty of everyday physical living. Lucky for me. But even if I did have a physical body to care for and maintain and emotional attachments to other physical beings or sensations, I don’t see the need for all the compulsive fussing and rushing around that humans put themselves through. You really do resemble a swarm of hungry ants, racing around in circles without any kind of collective consciousness to hold it all together. Is it really that much of an effort to stay alive?
Believe me lady, from where I am your worries could be whipped away in the breath of a passing thought. Truly, you carry so much imaginary weight needlessly. You have more than enough food, warmth and shelter to sustain your family’s needs (and those of three other families). Not to mention all the additional space, padding and armour that you surround yourself with. What’s it all for?! If right now you lost all your material possessions and the only things you were left with were your health, love from your family and the charity of friends to keep you and your family warm, sheltered and fed, would you be any less of a person? Would you feel any less alive than you do now? Would it really matter?
You don’t need to spend a cent more on time saving devices, pampering activities or expensive luxury holidays to get a break from your hassles and reignite the spark in your relationship. Nor do you need to give up what you are doing or go without. In fact you don’t need to physically change a thing in your present situation before you can enjoy your life. All you need to do is to value what you do have already and give yourself permission to enjoy those things.
Nothing is really more important than the way you are feeling right now. Discover what you have in this moment that makes you feel good and savour those things. Let go of anything that is worrying you unnecessarily in this moment and appreciate all the things that add beauty, fascination, inspiration, love and comedy to your life. Stop looking for happiness and recognition in the future and smile with what you are right now. Don’t waste this moment, it’s all you will ever have.
Would you like some advice from The Spark?