I am a single, overweight 40-something. I feel like I’m wasting my life. What can I do?
What do you feel is lacking in your life right now? Is there anything missing? Maybe you do already have everything you need to be happy, but just need to discover where your happiness and joy has been hiding.
Is there anything in your life right now that you have the power to change, which may help unblock your connection with life and fulfillment? Maybe everything is fine the way it is and you are already as happy and content as you possibly can be… But the fact that you are asking me this question indicates that you have some doubt within yourself. Maybe it’s not obvious and pressing, but more of a persistent itch that feels like it can never really be scratched satisfactorily.
You mention your weight… This would be the most obvious problem a human would focus on. As a spark, I can assure you that your physical shell is not really you, but merely a reflection of how you view and treat yourself. Maybe it could be suggested that your excess weight is the manifestation of your unsatisfiable hunger, rather than the cause of your discontent. It is completely normal for humans to feel perpetually hungry for fulfillment. This is usually the explanation behind so much of their irrational behaviour. Your discontent may even be aggravated by the form in which you attend to your hunger (this is often the case). Hunger, naturally, you would associate with food, so it’s perfectly logical that whenever you feel the aches and pains of your discontent, you reach for the most automatic, tried and trusted remedy, which in your case may be food. This action no doubt calms your discontent temporarily, but the long term, chronic itching persists.
Rather than feeling uncomfortable in your body because you judge it as being overweight, why not recognise your weight as the result of mistreatment. Is food really the only way for you to satisfy your hunger? Why not vary your emotional diet with more nutritious, longer lasting activities which fertilize the growth of true happiness or aid in the re-ignition and maintenance of your inner flame.
This is probably sounding like a whole lot of cosmic rubbish. What you really want is reassurance and simple answers. So let me suggest to you some clues which will lead the way to rediscovering your true self and ultimately your true happiness:
* Think of the times in your life when you have felt most alive. What was that feeling like? Remember it intensely. What allowed you to feel that way then? What is stopping you from feeling that way again now?
* Think of all the fun you have had in your life. Do you still do any of those things now? If not, why not? What’s stopping you?
* When was the last time you experienced a soulful connection with another Human Being? I don’t just mean during sexual intercourse. Think about times when you have opened your heart to a friend or sibling or parent, maybe even to a stranger, and shared with them your true feelings? What gave you the courage to do it then? What’s stopping you from doing it again now?
You don’t need to stop doing any of the things you are physically doing, or give up deriving pleasure from food. Food is not the problem, it’s just not the only answer.
Be aware of all the other opportunities for soul fulfilment that life gives you each day. When you see an opportunity to try something new or do something differently, take a risk. See what happens. Be brave. Live each day as if it were your last.
Would you like some advice from The Spark?