Tag Archives: Syafika

The Inklings: Chapter 47

To read the story from the beginning go here.

Although Vincent missed Syafika he thought that because she had disregarded his serious, well intentioned and wise advice on who she should avoid it would be bad for him if he were to see her again because she would inevitably disappoint him in the same way again at some point in the future. It upset Vincent that Syafika was hanging around with people who he didn’t want her to hang around with.

Vincent decided to put Syafika out of his mind and enjoy his break from work. When Vincent left the house he discovered that it had begun to rain and so he decided to take a bus to his favourite café instead of walking. The bus driver was listening to the radio, but for some reason the reception had become bad as Vincent boarded and all Vincent could hear was static. By the time the driver had a chance to adjust the radio Vincent had taken his seat. When the radio signal was restored Vincent heard a guitar phrase that was so familiar to him that he didn’t need to hear the first lines of the song to know what it was.

“I would have given you all of my heart
but there’s someone who’s torn it apart” went the radio. Vincent realized that this song would bring him to tears and so he covered his ears until the next stop, where he got off. He would rather walk in the rain than cry on a bus full of strangers.

The wind and rain was so cold that it shocked Vincent out of his sadness and all he wanted to do was get under cover. As Vincent ran through the rain a van drove past with the window down and radio on. Vincent could hear the tail end of the song he’d been trying to avoid “The first cut is the deepest, Baby I know…”

Vincent swore and wished he’d stayed at home. At least he was nearly at his favourite café. He began to imagine the nice cup of black coffee he’d have and tried to decide whether he would have bacon and eggs or French toast.

Just next to the café was a newsagent and Vincent decided to buy a newspaper to read over breakfast, but as he walked in his eye was drawn to one of the posters in the window. It was advertising a magazine and the girl on the cover looked strangely like Syafika. Vincent turned his head away. He was disgusted with himself. Why was everything reminding him of Syafika today? He should forget about her.

At least the paper looked interesting, which was unusual for the weekend. Vincent was sure he could lose himself in news for at least an hour. One hour without thinking of Syafika would do him good.

Vincent sat down and straight away a waiter came over with a menu. Vincent didn’t need to look at it though because he’d already decided. He ordered his coffee and French toast and was just opening the paper when he noticed that the café was also playing Cat Stevens.

“It’s not time to make a change” went the song.

“Man! Syafika may not have played that cd I gave her but the rest of the world seems to be” thought Vincent. He realized that he wasn’t going to be able to avoid thinking about Syafika today so he gave up trying to read the paper and started going over their fight in his head. He thought that at least that might make him angry enough to stop Cat Stevens from making him cry.


The Inklings: Chapter 46

To read the story from the beginning go here.

Syafika was almost back home when she noticed that her mum was walking up the street towards her. Rose looked very cross.

“What’s wrong?” asked Syafika when she and Rose both arrived at the front gate.

“I’ve had to spend the last two hours listening to India talk about permaculture and aquaponics!” said Rose. She spat out the words “permaculture” and “aquaponics” in such disgust that Syafika guessed they must be awful things (but had no idea what they were). India was one of their neighbours. She had a worm farm in the front yard, wore sandals made from recycled tires and liked to tell people about all the poor people she’d met while on exotic holidays. She also annoyed Festus by parking her large car across their driveway. When Festus complained to India she complained back that it wasn’t fair that not all houses in the street had off-street parking spaces. That attempt at a barb only made Festus laugh though. He did enjoy parking his low class plumber’s van in their expansive driveway while the neighbours were forced to park their expensive lumps of cars on the street, where they were vulnerable to being vandalized by the gangs of small children that often roamed the streets.

Syafika started walking to the front door but Rose stayed in the front yard. She was looking at the driveway and front yard and muttering something about nutrient cycling.


The Inklings: Chapter 45

To read the story from the beginning go here.

Syafika gave up trying to sleep when she heard birds chirping outside. She reached out and opened the blind so she could watch the sky change colour as the sun came up. The excitement she’d felt the night before had given way to sadness. As she enjoyed the sunrise she couldn’t help crying. How was it that she only managed to appreciate the beauty in everyday things when she was feeling miserable?

A Noisy Miner landed on the window sill and looked judgmentally at Syafika. She couldn’t help asking “Did Vincent send you, little bird?” and in reply the bird flew away.

Then Syafika cried some more because she had finally realized that Vincent was not going to call her again.

“What am I going to do now?” Syafika asked herself. Then she realized that it was Tuesday and she was going to Fanta’s place for morning tea.

“How was last night?” said Rose when Syafika walked into the kitchen. She was a bit confused by Syafika appearing so early in the morning when she didn’t have to go to work. Then Rose looked a bit closer and noticed that Syafika looked really tired and had red eyes, as if she had been crying all night.

Rose rushed over to Syafika and gave her a cuddle and asked “What happened?”

“Vincent isn’t going to call me ever again, is he?” answered Syafika quietly.

“Don’t worry about that!” said Rose. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

Syafika smiled and started to feel better. She decided to have a cup of tea.

A few hours later Syafika swished out of the front gate on her way to morning tea at Fanta’s house. She was wearing a pretty dress and carrying a bunch of jasmine.

Evan though Syafika was a bit worried that Fanta wouldn’t approve, the first thing Syafika did when she arrived at Fanta’s house was to tell Fanta about her date with Anthony. Fanta had never liked the sound of Anthony, but for some reason Fanta wasn’t particularly angry and seemed more concerned that Vincent still hadn’t called Syafika. John and D’arby arrived while Syafika and Fanta were discussing it.

“John! What can we do to make Vincent realize that he won’t find anyone better than Syafika?” asked Fanta

“He still hasn’t called?” asked John

“No” said Syafika. Despite the sudden change in topic from Anthony to Vincent, Syafika was feeling sad enough at being reminded that Vincent hadn’t called for tears to start rolling down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry! Leave it up to D’arby and me” said John

“What are we going to do?” asked D’arby.

“We are going to remind Vincent of Syafika” said John

“How?” asked Fanta

“Yeah, how?” asked D’arby

“Do you have a special song? A song that will remind Vincent of the times he spent with you?” John asked Syafika

“I don’t think so” said Syafika

“Nothing? Didn’t you share music? Didn’t you listen to music together?” asked John

“Yeah…Vincent did give me a CD.I took it to work with me but hardly listened to it. Wait! It’s in here somewhere” said Syafika and she started rummaging around in her handbag.

“Here” said Syafika, and handed a CD to John

“The Very Best of Cat Stevens!” said John

“Yeah, Vincent things he is great but I found it sort of boring” said Syafika

“I know this song – The First Cut is the Deepest” said Fanta

“Did Cat Stevens write that?” asked D’arby, looking at Syafika

“Don’t ask me!” said Syafika

“That’s a good song to play Vincent” said Fanta “But how are you going to get him to listen to it?”

“I have an idea, but I’ll have to discuss it in private with D’arby first” said John. “What I need to know is where Vincent lives, works and the places he likes to go in his spare time” said John

John and D’arby seemed to be pretty excited by their new assignment. Fanta thought it would be better if she didn’t ask what they were planning in case she disapproved. Syafika didn’t really care what they did. She’d be happy if Vincent called her again but she would also be happy if Anthony called instead.


The Inklings: Chapter 43

To read the story from the beginning go here.

It had been over a week since Syafika and Vincent had their big fight and Vincent still hadn’t contacted Syafika. Syafika was feeling unloved and thought that Vincent was being very self-centred. Vincent was showing his stubborn side and it really was a stubborn side. Syafika had spent most of the week staring at the telephone, hoping that Vincent would call and then getting angry when he didn’t.

Syafika was angrily washing the dishes and thinking about how awful Vincent was being when she heard the phone ring. She stopped washing the dishes and listened as her mum answered then called her to the phone.

Syafika ran to the phone because she thought Vincent had finally decided to apologise and she wanted to get to the phone before he changed his mind.

“Hello” said Syafika

“Hello Syafika! Why are you breathless? Is it because it is exciting to hear from me?”

Syafika took a couple of seconds to respond. Her mind had to change gears.

“Syafika?”

“Anthony?” said Syafika, finally.

“Yes. Did you miss me?” asked Anthony

Syafika couldn’t believe she was in the sort of situation she had once spent all of her spare moments dreaming about and wasn’t able to truthfully say that she’d missed Anthony.

“At first I missed you, but then I just got on with life” answered Syafika.

“I missed you” said Anthony

“What about your girlfriend and baby?” asked Syafika. She hadn’t forgotten about that!

“I made that up” said Anthony. “They don’t exist”

“Why?” asked Syafika

“Because I needed an excuse to leave” said Anthony

“Why? Why couldn’t you just say you were leaving?” asked Syafika

Anthony was sick of the topic though, and he ignored the question.

“So what are you doing tonight?” asked Anthony

“I hadn’t thought about that yet” replied Syafika

“Let’s go out for dinner then” said Anthony.

Syafika didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what she wanted to do or what she should do. She’d been ready to spend the evening at home, waiting for Vincent to call.

“Well?” asked Anthony

“Ok” said Syafika and they arranged to meet in an hour.

When Syafika hung up the phone she was still justifying this date to herself. She decided it was going to be just a friendly dinner and that Vincent couldn’t have objected to that (although she was dreaming if she thought he wouldn’t) and that because Vincent hadn’t called her for a week Syafika could do what she liked. It was only when Syafika was satisfied with her reasoning that she realized she had agreed to meet Anthony in only one hour! Of course it was only going to be a friendly date, but it was still a date with Anthony. How could she make herself look perfect and get to the restaurant in less than an hour? She hadn’t even thought about what she would wear. She would be lucky if she even owned something nice enough for this special occasion and if she did there was no way it would be clean and ironed.

“Mum! Help me!” yelled Syafika.

Sixty five minutes later, Syafika arrived at the restaurant. Rose knew that Syafika and Vincent had been fighting but she had never known about Syafika’s obsession with Anthony and so she didn’t really understand what this date with a strange man was about. Nevertheless, Rose helped Syafika choose some clothes to wear and did her hair. Rose hoped that if Vincent was out of the picture the replacement was at least as handsome as him.

Anthony wasn’t there when Syafika arrived at the restaurant and so she immediately began to feel foolish. Why had she rushed? Now he would think she was keen to see him. Or what if he wasn’t coming at all? What would she do then? Would she have dinner by herself? Syafika wasn’t even wearing a watch so she couldn’t tell how late he was. She sat down at a table by herself and pretended to be looking at the menu while these thoughts floated around in her head. She was so worried about what to do if Anthony didn’t turn up that she forgot he might actually arrive.

When Anthony walked into the restaurant he saw Syafika staring intently at the menu, looking sort of worried.

“My lovely Syafika!” said Anthony, as he walked over to the table. Syafika looked up to see Anthony with such a big smile on his face that it was almost ridiculous. She couldn’t believe that he was so happy to be there with her, but that’s what it looked like.

“Hello” said Syafika. She was thrilled to see Anthony, but also worried about what would happen and she was feeling guilty because she wasn’t sure whether she was still in a relationship with Vincent or not.

Anthony sat down. “So what are you having? I saw you studying the menu carefully.”

“I don’t know. What do you suggest?” said Syafika, but she was just talking without thinking. She wanted to fill the space and make things feel a bit more normal because Anthony was still smiling crazily.

“It’s good to see you again” said Anthony. “I missed you”

Syafika couldn’t believe her ears. It was the second time in the same day she’d heard something that belonged in daydreams. Although things were different now and Syafika thought she still loved Vincent, she couldn’t help saying “I’m glad to see you again too”, although she didn’t add that she had missed Anthony, because that still wasn’t true. She had scarcely thought about Anthony since she met Vincent, but she knew that she would be thinking a lot about him now.

Syafika soon realized that Anthony had an agenda for the evening. He ordered some food (Syafika didn’t care what) and as soon as the waitress had gone he said “So, what have you been up to? I heard that you and Vincent broke up”. Syafika’s lies were coming back to get her. Anthony wasn’t talking about her recent fight with Vincent, but the story she’d made up about breaking up with her imaginary Vincent.

“Who told you that?” asked Syafika. Anthony must have been in touch with someone from work. Then their drinks arrived, so Anthony took the opportunity to avoid Syafika’s question.

“So, are you still single? Asked Anthony

At least Syafika had met a real life Vincent. It made it easier for her to explain what was going on now.

“I don’t know” said Syafika. “Vincent and I had a big fight and we haven’t been talking for a week.” As she said this, Syafika felt bad because she really didn’t believe that she and Vincent had broken up and she should have said so.

Anthony looked disappointed and confused. “So, did you and Vincent get back together again?” he asked.

“Yeah” said Syafika, extending her old lie.

“And now you have broken up again?” Asked Anthony

“I don’t know” said Syafika.

“Well you should work out what’s going on. It’s important” said Anthony. “Anyway, let’s talk about something else now.”

The rest of the evening was more comfortable. Syafika even managed to relax enough to be able to understand Anthony’s jokes (when she was nervous her brain didn’t work very well). At the end of the evening, Anthony walked her home, patted her on the shoulder, said he’d had fun and told her to take care of herself.

Syafika stayed awake all night, trying to work out what was going on. Three things were bothering her at once. The first was that Vincent still hadn’t called her and she didn’t know what that meant. She hadn’t thought that their fight would end the relationship and she didn’t want it to.

The second thing that bothered Syafika that night was whether it was right for her to have gone out for dinner with Anthony when she still thought Vincent was her boyfriend. Until she sorted out an answer to her first concern, Syafika couldn’t sort out the second.

The third thing that kept Syafika awake took most of her thoughts that night. She was wondering how much Anthony was interested in her and whether she had blown her chance that night. At first he’d seemed really keen. Remembering this made Syafika’s heart beat faster. However, after they had discussed Vincent, Anthony’s mood had changed and it had become less of a romantic date and more like dinner between friends. Even if Syafika and Vincent were still together, even if Vincent rang to apologise tomorrow, Syafika would still like Anthony to be in love with her, not just a friend. Of course if Anthony did tell Syafika that he loved her, Syafika would ask Anthony if they could just be friends (that’s if she decided that she was still with Vincent). Syafika was really disappointed that Anthony hadn’t tried to kiss her (not that she would have kissed him back, but just because she wanted him to have tried). Then Syafika thought about this a bit more and realized that maybe Anthony’s not kissing her was a good sign because it meant that he respected her too much to try when he wasn’t sure that she was single. Maybe it was a sign that he wanted to marry her! Maybe Anthony wasn’t sleeping either. Maybe he was lying awake and hoping that she and Vincent would really break up. Syafika didn’t rest on this thought though. If Anthony was awake, maybe he wasn’t thinking of her at all. Maybe he was out dancing and having fun. Maybe Vincent was out dancing too.


The Inklings: Chapter 41

To read the story from the beginning go here.

In Syafika’s family the tradition for Christmas lunch was to have an early savory course, then open Christmas presents and then have dessert. Syafika liked that very much because the break between courses meant she could eat so much more – she didn’t have to save room for dessert. Syafika giggled to herself when she realized that now that Vincent wasn’t coming she wouldn’t have to worry about what he thought if she ate a lot.

When it was time to move to the lounge room to open presents Syafika was so blissfully full of perfectly roasted potatoes that she no longer cared what Vincent did or what her parents thought about her and Vincent. She didn’t even care when Ousman took the place next to her on the sofa.

Rose and Binta picked up presents from under the Christmas tree, read the labels and handed them to the right people. Everyone watched patiently and waited until all the gifts had been handed out before opening theirs.

When Rose or Binta found a present labelled “Amanda” or “Vincent” they put them aside without saying anything. Amanda was still in her room and unsurprisingly had refused to come out of her room for Christmas.

Syafika found that in her pile of presents was one from Amanda. It was a hair brush, which surprised Syafika because she needed one – hers had gone missing and she had been borrowing Rose’s hair brush for the last week.

Syafika looked at Ousman, who was being very quiet and noticed that he was delicately opening an envelope with a gold ribbon around it. Ousman took out a piece of paper and unfolded it. Syafika looked over Ousman’s shoulder and saw that it was a copy of a hand written letter. Ousman smiled as he read it, before turning to Syafika and saying proudly “Look! A letter from my Dad”. Syafika took the letter from Ousman and read it.

To my dear son Ousman,

You would not believe how happy I was to hear from you. I have recently been through an experience that no person should have to endure and am living in a place which offers only scraps of hope and comfort, but now that I know you exist I have a reason to continue.

If the circumstances were different in my country (which is also yours) then I would prefer you came to live with me there, but if it is really possible that we can meet then I would accept any way of doing that. I once promised myself that I would never return to your country but that was before I knew about you.

I hope your mother is well and that she appreciates how lucky she is to have you. You be a good boy and, god willing, we will soon meet.

 

With love from your Father,

 

Mamadou

 

The letter was signed in distinctly different handwriting to the rest of the letter and Syafika wondered whether Ousman’s father was illiterate. She thought it would be funny if he was.


The Inklings: Chapter 39

To read the story from the beginning go here.

When Syafika woke up on Christmas morning she could feel the heat of the sun coming through the closed blinds and wasn’t sure if it was because she’d slept in or because it was going to be a very hot day. It was actually both.

“Its 10am on Christmas morning” realized Syafika when she turned over and looked at her clock. “Will Vincent come for Christmas lunch?” she wondered. Before their fight Vincent and Syafika had agreed that he would come to her place for Christmas and that she would go to his parent’s place on Boxing Day. Perhaps that firm agreement would be enough of an excuse for Vincent to end his display of anger. Syafika felt hopeful but didn’t want to feel that way. She preferred to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.

The thing that was actually making Syafika most anxious about whether Vincent came to lunch or not was that she hadn’t told her parents about their fight, and so she hadn’t warned them that Vincent might not come for Christmas lunch. If Vincent didn’t turn up Syafika’s parents would not only be disappointed, but Syafika would have to put up with them demanding to know why he didn’t come. Syafika hadn’t envisaged her first romance ending with her being dumped. When Syafika’s daydream romances did end it involved her making a passionate break-up speech about how incredibly unfairly she’d been treated.

Syafika put on a nicer outfit than she would have chosen if she was sure that she’d only be spending the day with her family, and then she went to see what her parents were up to.

Rose and Festus had actually been up to a lot. Preparations for Christmas lunch were well underway. Festus had moved the barbeque to the shady driveway and was lighting it, Syafika could smell something roasting in the oven and Rose was making three types of salad. “Three types of salad, at once!” thought Syafika and wondered how it was that her mother managed to always do such a nice Christmas lunch when on other days she usually had trouble boiling eggs or making toast.

The dining table had been decorated with vases of red bougainvillea flowers and set with the best cutlery, plates and glasses. Syafika was imagining who would sit where when she realized that there were only five places laid.

“Mum, why are only five places laid at the table?” Syafika asked.

“Vincent called this morning and said he wouldn’t be coming” answered Rose.

Syafika’s face became very hot with embarrassment. She also felt intense disappointment and realized that she had expected Vincent to come. As the shock subsided Syafika began to feel angry that Vincent and her mother had conspired and made her look like a fool.

Syafika marched into the back garden and sat down to stew, but didn’t stay long because it was very hot and she was very hungry. She sheepishly went back into the kitchen to make some tea, but avoided making eye contact with her mother. Syafika didn’t offer her mother a cup of tea either, although she knew Rose would be dying for one.

While the tea was drawing Syafika opened the packed-full fridge and poked around, looking for something tasty for breakfast that wouldn’t ruin her appetite for lunch.

“Careful!” complained Festus when he came inside and saw Syafika investigating the precariously positioned stacks of food in the fridge. He’d spent quite a bit of time the night before getting everything to fit.

“How can the fridge be so full and not have something good for breakfast in it?” Syafika complained back.

“Have cereal like you have everyday” suggested Rose.

“You can’t have cereal for breakfast on Christmas Day!” said Syafika and she scanned the fridge shelves once more before slowly closing the door.

Syafika took a handful of salted nuts from a bowl on the dining table, and went back to the back yard, slopping some tea on the floor on the way.

“It’s going to be a crap day” Syafika said to herself as she sat down on the very hot iron bench. She slumped and chewed with her mouth open. She didn’t care if she wasn’t being elegant. She thought she may as well be a grumpy slob because nobody loved her even when she tried her best to be lovely. Then Syafika remembered the delicious lunch her parents were making and couldn’t help feeling a bit more positive. “I may as well try to enjoy the one day of the year that Mum makes an effort in the kitchen” thought Syafika.


The Inklings: Chapter 36

The next afternoon John went for a long walk. He wasn’t going anywhere in particular, he just wanted to get out of the house and do something. John was sick of being on holiday already. He wasn’t used to relaxing – he didn’t know how to enjoy it, and without anything to distract him, his mind kept wandering back to his problem of how to avoid going to gaol.

After a couple of hours of walking John needed a rest so he sat down on a seat in a park and started watching the other people in the park. Some people were sitting on the grass in the sun, others were walking their dogs, some people were conscientiously running laps and there was a group of adults watching their children play on the swings. Amongst all of this, one person caught John’s eye. There was a woman who was walking slowly around in an unpredictable pattern. “Maybe she is walking around to kill the holiday time like me” thought John. “Or maybe she’s thinking about her problems like me.” She was too far away for John to be able to work out the expression on her face so he walked closer, averting his eyes until he was near so it wouldn’t look like he was spying on her. When John got close he looked at the woman and was surprised to find that it was Syafika. He hadn’t recognized her in her hat and sunglasses.

“How are you going?” John asked. Syafika looked a bit confused when she saw him. He decided she must have been deep in thought – probably wondering about what Vincent was thinking.

“I’m ok” said Syafika

“Sorry about last night” said John.

“Don’t worry” replied Syafika. “It wasn’t your fault.”

There was a pause, which Syafika felt uncomfortable with so she added “I had to get out of the house so I wasn’t sitting around waiting for Vincent to return my calls.”

“I had to get out of the house too.” said John. “Otherwise I might have been tempted to put up some Christmas decorations. D’arby warned me to not even think about buying any, so instead I was thinking about making my own, but I know that would still be dangerous.”

Syafika was glad to have a reason to laugh and when she had finished she took the opportunity to ask John about something she’d been meaning to ask for a long time. “Hey, I think I saw you in this park months ago” said Syafika, and she couldn’t help smirking as she remembered. “You rubbed dog pooh into its owner’s hair.”

John stared blankly ahead while sifting through his memory. Eventually he came across a blurry memory of a rainy morning when he’d been feeling particularly angry.

“That sounds like something I would have done” John eventually answered and he made a mental note to add that incident to his list of things he could go to gaol for.


The Inklings: Chapter 33

Syafika was furious to wake up and realise that it was Monday. She’d wasted the weekend waiting for Fanta to call and apologise (which Fanta hadn’t done) and now, not only was it time to go back to work again, but because Fanta hadn’t apologized Syafika had to decide whether to demonstrate her hurt by staying home that night and missing the meeting (which she had really been looking forward to) or to go to the meeting and risk looking like she wasn’t very upset with Fanta. Syafika picked up the phone and was about to call Vincent and ask him what she should do when she realized that she couldn’t do that either because she’d promised Vincent she wouldn’t go to any more of the meetings.

Since Wednesday Syafika had been stewing. She was incredibly hurt that Fanta had been keeping secrets from her and was even more hurt (and very jealous) that Fanta had been collaborating with her awful little cousin Ousman. Another element of Syafika’s hurt was that she was starting to realize that she needed Fanta more than Fanta needed her.

At last Syafika decided to give in and go to the meeting. Staying home would just make her even angrier. Besides, Fanta would have probably made a nice cake for dessert.

Poor John wasn’t in a good way either. The scare he’d got when Vincent turned up at Syafika’s place had made him start thinking about the precarious situation he was in. Since then John had spent every spare moment thinking about how he could avoid going to gaol. He was now feeling really depressed because he couldn’t think of a way of cutting off his past. And John wasn’t worried just for himself. He could see that whatever happened to him would also affect Fanta, his family and even D’arby. It would even affect their plans to “save the world”.

Syafika was right, Fanta did make a cake for the meeting. As Fanta took it out of the oven that afternoon she was wondering whether the meeting would go any better than their first. Fanta was hoping that if she made an extra special dinner it would help Syafika forgive her. Fanta was also worried about John, who had been distant that week. She could tell something was on his mind but when she asked him if anything was wrong he tried to pretend that nothing was.

D’arby was oblivious to all the dramas of his friends. He had been too engrossed in his latest draft of his plan to save the world to notice that John was depressed.

Fanta finished setting the table just at the time they’d agreed to meet. Then she looked out the window but couldn’t see any of her guests coming so she went to check that there was a fresh hand towel in the bathroom. Fanta then spent the next half an hour doing various unimportant household jobs, and checking out the window every five minutes or so. Finally she sat down and regretted having organized for her aunt and uncle to take her sisters out for the evening because it looked like nobody was going to turn up for the meeting. Who was going to eat all the food now?

Then there was a knock at the door and the next thing Fanta knew, John and D’arby were showering her with excuses for being so late. Just behind them was Syafika. She came in without saying much and soon all of them were sitting around the table.

Dinner was strangely silent. D’arby kept getting out his notes, looking at them, folding them up and putting them back in his pocket. The rustling sound was annoying Syafika. She hadn’t brought any notes this time. She’d been too angry to remember to bring her notes and was disappointed because she couldn’t remember her ideas without them.

Everyone was relieved when the dinner had all been eaten, even Syafika. As Fanta poured everyone cups of tea, D’arby skimmed through his notes once more and then stood up, cleared his throat and began.

“I’ve been trying to work out whether there is any root cause to the rot we were talking about last week. Is there any one thing that we can focus on that will make more difference than others? Anyway, this is what I’ve come up with so far:

It all started while I was watching the news. The usual finance reporter was showing graphs and talking about how consumers where still saving rather than spending so the retail outlook was grim and economic growth was threatened. I started to wonder whether all these “consumers” were really saving, or whether they’d made the same realization that I’d made and had decided they didn’t want to be consumers anymore. What if everyone stopped buying so much because they didn’t want to keep using resources unsustainably? What would that do to the economy? Would there be a recession? A depression? What are those things anyway? Can our economic system survive if we live more sustainably? I mean, even with increased efficiency, continual economic growth is impossible so either we stuff the planet or we stuff the economy, right? I know I’m not the only person who can see this problem so why are we so determined to stick to this path? Why aren’t we changing the economy?

I’d be surprised if it wasn’t those who benefit from the current system who are keeping things on the current path – so we may as well blame the richest people, but it isn’t just their fault because everyone else is letting them get away with it.

Anyway, if these rich people don’t care that they are destroying the planet and that they will be remembered as having been the biggest arseholes who ever lived, then why not? Are they psychopaths? Let’s assume that they are, even just for the fun of it.”

D’arby paused and looked at his audience. They seemed to be paying attention but he wasn’t sure they were following. He hadn’t been following his notes so he put them down on the table and just kept talking without them.

“I guess you’ve heard how corporations are inherently evil, and probably run by psychopaths and that corporations influence our governments so we can probably blame them for keeping us on a path to destruction – psychopaths via corporations, that is. And corporations probably turn normal people into virtual psychopaths too.

So what can we do about it? Can we make the normal people fight the system? Or can we fight the psychopaths directly? Or both?

I’ve been reading papers about psychopaths and I can’t say things are very clear. There isn’t total agreement on what one is, let alone on what to do about them. Some people reckon they might be able to come up with a treatment, but I can’t imagine psychos volunteering to take medication. I also worry that if we knew what makes a psycho someone would probably have a go at creating more of them – in some professions having empathy holds you back.

This gets me back to behaviour and the only thing I’ve ever been able to change. I think I know how to cure addiction, but can I cure a psychopath? Should I spend my time trying to work out how to do something I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to do or should I spend my time doing something I have already done before? Or can we do both?”

D’arby stopped again and looked at his audience, waiting for an answer but their faces were blank. This response made D’arby very annoyed. He sighed and sat down, shaking his head and was about to voice his disgust when John’s face lit up.

“I think he means he agrees with my idea and that we should keep putting the pills in the pizzas!” said John, with a triumphant smile on his face.

D’arby let out an exasperated laugh and then said “Yes, but only while we try to work out what else we can do.”

Fanta and Syafika just nodded and wondered what their roles in this plan were going to be.


The Inklings: Chapter 25

Syafika wasn’t able to concentrate on her work. Normally her solution to this was to go and get a coffee, but today she didn’t feel like one, which made her suspect that John had been lying when he’d said that the pizza they’d eaten the night before didn’t have any of D’arby’s special pills in it.

Syafika had been shaken by what had happened the night before. She was upset that she had disappointed Vincent, but she was also annoyed that he thought he could order her around. Ultimately she didn’t want to stop seeing John and D’arby, but was wondering whether Vincent was wiser than she was. Perhaps Vincent could tell that those two were going to get her into trouble one day.

“Maybe some music will help me decide what I should do” thought Syafika and she took her headphones and the CD that Vincent had given her out of her bag. The music wasn’t new – it sounded familiar to Syafika, but she didn’t really like it. Then the phone rang. It was Vincent. He wanted to know whether Syafika liked the CD. Syafika tried to fake enthusiasm for the music. She was genuinely happy that Vincent had called though. He didn’t sound angry. It seemed that things were back to normal. Syafika also liked it that he’d called as soon as she’d started listening to the music. “Our minds must be working in tune!” she thought.

After talking to Vincent Syafika’s thoughts were much clearer. She decided she wouldn’t stop seeing John and D’arby, but wouldn’t have the meetings at her house anymore. She didn’t think it was worth causing dramas by telling Fanta, John and D’arby that she wasn’t going to be part of their plans anymore because she didn’t really think their plans would come to anything, and if things did start to happen she could quit then.

Fanta was also at work and distracted. She’d just sold another house and was doing paper work without really thinking about what she was doing. Now that she had finished uni Fanta knew that she really should be getting a new job so she could make use of her degree, and yet it seemed so much easier to just keep on working part time as a real estate agent, especially when she was just beginning to realise that there were probably many other more important things that she should be giving her attention to.

When Fanta got home a bit later, her aunt and uncle were there, going through some complicated documents. They were helping Fanta with her secret project – or actually more than just helping. Fanta wouldn’t have been able to even start the project without their help.


The Inklings: Chapter 23

Monday night had finally come around. John, Fanta, D’arby and Syafika were all going to meet at Syafika’s place. All four of them had a lot on their minds.

John’s preparation for the meeting involved writing one sentence on a piece of paper, but this wasn’t a sign of indifference. John was full of enthusiasm to do something good, and knew what he wanted to do – that’s why he only needed to write one sentence. The only thing bothering him about the meeting was that he wondered how he could discuss his idea without making two dangerous confessions.

Fanta was a lot less certain of her ideas than John. She knew that there were some big things wrong in the world, but for some reason she couldn’t identify them, and so she had no chance of knowing what could be done about them. All she had written down were some (probably minor) things that regularly made her angry. She was looking forward to hearing what everyone else had come up with though.

Fanta was also a bit distracted by a couple of things. One was a pleasant distraction – her uncle and aunt were in town and would be staying until after Christmas. The other distraction was a secret project, and Fanta was feeling guilty that she had to keep it secret from John and Syafika.

D’arby had written pages of dot points, but they weren’t a list of problems and solutions. Instead they were points he wanted to discuss as he tried to describe what he had decided might be the biggest problem in the world. D’arby was also excited that his sister had given birth to a baby boy, and that she had done so in unexpected circumstances. D’arby was going to travel to see his sister and his new nephew the next day.

Syafika had written her list based on the things she found most awful about the world and although she’d decided on solutions, she hadn’t really thought them through. She had spent a lot more time thinking about more T-shirt slogans though. She’d even come up with a special one for D’arby.

Syafika was still busy tidying her room when John and D’arby arrived. John had brought some cold pizza. Syafika was keen to know how the T-shirt give away had gone the night before but John was more interested in heating up and serving his pizza than discussing that. Syafika decided she’d ask again when Fanta had arrived and everyone had settled down.

“Will we sit around the kitchen table?” asked John, as he started looking in the drawers and cupboards for cutlery and plates.

Syafika had been hoping to have the meeting in her room, so that her parents wouldn’t hear what they were talking about, but was now trying to decide whether it would be more embarrassing for her parents to listen to them or for her friends to see her messy room. Then Rose and Fanta arrived.

“Syafika, aren’t you going to introduce your friends?” asked Rose. After Rose was introduced to John and D’arby Rose went on to tell Syafika how Festus was bringing home takeaway and they were going to have dinner in front of the TV so Syafika could have her meeting in peace. Syafika sighed with relief and went to get some napkins from the linen cupboard.

“So, did people like the T-shirts?” asked Fanta as Syafika helped John set the table.

“There was a mixed response” answered John. “Only one person was enthusiastic, but a few people took them – probably just because they were free. Most people looked confused at being offered a T-shirt or were offended by the slogan, or by me asking what size T-shirt they wore. People are complicated!”

“Well, if I see someone wearing one one day I’ll be happy.” said Syafika. “You will keep trying to give them away, won’t you? I have some more ideas for slogans. Some might be more popular than others.”

“Of course, I haven’t given up yet” said John.

As the four friends ate their pizza D’arby told everyone how his sister had given birth at the side of the road after having run away from her husband. Then Fanta told how her uncle and aunt were going to be staying with her for the next month and apologized to John that this meant she couldn’t go to his family’s Christmas lunch with him. John didn’t seem very upset about this.

Finally there were no more excuses – it was time to get out their lists.

“Can I go first?” asked Fanta. “I don’t think my ideas are very good so I better read them out before hearing any of yours or I might not want to read them out at all anymore.”

“Don’t be silly! I’m sure you have great ideas” said John. “But you go first if you want.”

Syafika couldn’t help hoping that Fanta’s ideas were bad. She didn’t want to have the worst ones. She already felt that she was the stupidest person in the room.

“Ok” said Fanta. “I couldn’t work out what the really big problems in the world are so I came up with two things that often bother me. First, I don’t like cars and secondly I don’t like smokers. I guess what I mean is that I would like to see cities and towns that were designed for people not cars (I mean pedestrians mostly, I suppose, but bicycles are probably ok too – I might even ride one if I wasn’t scared of being hit by a car) and I’d like to be able to enjoy outdoor spaces without having to passive smoke. I mean, at cafes, in parks, at the bus stop, at the train station, while walking down the street….”

“I know! We could print T-shirts with the slogan “How much does your freedom cost others?” said Syafika.

D’arby raised an eyebrow at Syafika’s suggestion, which made her feel foolish. She realized she wasn’t really concentrating on the task at hand – she was still obsessed with T-shirts. But D’arby wasn’t thinking that Syafika was a fool. He was actually impressed because he thought Syafika had very quickly compressed what Fanta had been saying into a single sentence. He didn’t know that Syafika was just using what Fanta said as an excuse to talk about T-shirt slogans.

Then everyone turned back to Fanta and she realized that they were waiting for her solutions. “I don’t know how to fix these problems though” said Fanta. “I was hoping one of you would have some ideas”.

“Can I go next?” asked John. “I think my idea goes well with Fanta’s. I think the solution to my problem might also be part of the solution to hers.”

And so John explained how he thought that the worst problem in the world was addiction, but not just to drugs. He included extreme behaviour like eating too much, or starving yourself, or accumulating too much money or too many shoes or gambling all your money away. “There are some things people become addicted to that you can’t remove from your life (like food) so I think that to avoid suffering and disasters people need to look for balance rather than seeking extremes and I think D’arby may have already found part of the solution to this.”

Suddenly Fanta and Syafika were looking at D’arby, waiting for an explanation, but before D’arby could work out what he was supposed to say John said “I need to confess something – two things” and Fanta and Syafika turned their attention back to John.

“Fanta, I only gave up drugs because D’arby gave me some pills and they fixed me. I didn’t want to give up before that and I’d never tried. I should have told you this but I thought it would have made you think less of me” said John as he looked pleadingly at Fanta.

“What’s the other thing?” asked Fanta. She didn’t really care how John gave up his addiction but was worried that the second thing was worse.

John looked at D’arby this time and said “I’ve been putting the same pills into pizzas at the restaurant.”

“I thought I told you not to do that!” said D’arby angrily, and he wished he was at home so he could check the state of his stash of special pills. D’arby had been so distracted by his thesis lately that he’d almost forgotten that John had intended setting a lab up for him at the back of the restaurant. Suddenly he had lots of questions.

“Where did you get the pills you used? You haven’t been trying to make any of your own have you?” asked D’arby.

“Nope, I just took the big jar of them that you had in the laundry. I don’t know if putting them in the cupboard behind the washing detergent was meant to be your way of hiding them, but if it was it didn’t work” said John.

D’arby wanted to ask what had happened to the people who’d eaten the special pizzas, but didn’t think it was appropriate for him to show that much interest while he was still trying to be angry. Fortunately Fanta asked for him.

“Have you been curing your customers?” asked Fanta.

“I wish I knew!” said John. “People come in and eat the pizza, pay and leave and I can’t really see any change, but I don’t know what I should be looking for. I don’t know who is an addict and who isn’t. I don’t know if the pills will work instantly if they are taken as part of a large meal. Does drinking alcohol with them stop them from working? I don’t know anything really. I just hope I’m doing some good and I’d like to be able to do more.”

Syafika had just eaten a bite of her fourth slice of pizza when she froze. “Were there any of these pills in this pizza?” she asked, with wide eyes.

“No, I wouldn’t waste them on us” said John.

“Good” said Syafika and was about to take another bite of pizza when from the corner of her eye she noticed something move in the doorway of the kitchen. Vincent was standing there. He was looking very angry. Everyone at the kitchen table turned to look at him and all of them were thinking the same thing – how long had he been standing there?

Vincent wouldn’t have needed his experience as a police detective to know that he’d interrupted a discussion about something criminal. The four very guilty looking faces around the kitchen table told him that.

John, D’arby and Fanta left immediately, leaving Syafika and Vincent alone.

“Who were those men?” asked Vincent. Syafika explained that John was Fanta’s boyfriend and D’arby was John’s flatmate. Next Vincent wanted to know what they’d been talking about. Syafika felt like a small child as she explained that they were thinking of ways to make the world a better place, but at least Vincent seemed to believe her.

“I think you should stay away from John and D’arby” said Vincent and then changed the topic. Vincent had come over as a surprise to give Syafika a CD that he’d been enjoying. He didn’t stay long. Syafika could tell that he was disappointed with her. As she closed the door behind Vincent tears welled in her eyes. Syafika turned and ran to her bedroom, where she sat on her bed looking at her list of T-shirt slogans and ways to fix the world while she cried.