Author Archives: Anna

17/05/2014

The Inklings: Chapter 45

By Anna

To read the story from the beginning go here.

Syafika gave up trying to sleep when she heard birds chirping outside. She reached out and opened the blind so she could watch the sky change colour as the sun came up. The excitement she’d felt the night before had given way to sadness. As she enjoyed the sunrise she couldn’t help crying. How was it that she only managed to appreciate the beauty in everyday things when she was feeling miserable?

A Noisy Miner landed on the window sill and looked judgmentally at Syafika. She couldn’t help asking “Did Vincent send you, little bird?” and in reply the bird flew away.

Then Syafika cried some more because she had finally realized that Vincent was not going to call her again.

“What am I going to do now?” Syafika asked herself. Then she realized that it was Tuesday and she was going to Fanta’s place for morning tea.

“How was last night?” said Rose when Syafika walked into the kitchen. She was a bit confused by Syafika appearing so early in the morning when she didn’t have to go to work. Then Rose looked a bit closer and noticed that Syafika looked really tired and had red eyes, as if she had been crying all night.

Rose rushed over to Syafika and gave her a cuddle and asked “What happened?”

“Vincent isn’t going to call me ever again, is he?” answered Syafika quietly.

“Don’t worry about that!” said Rose. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

Syafika smiled and started to feel better. She decided to have a cup of tea.

A few hours later Syafika swished out of the front gate on her way to morning tea at Fanta’s house. She was wearing a pretty dress and carrying a bunch of jasmine.

Evan though Syafika was a bit worried that Fanta wouldn’t approve, the first thing Syafika did when she arrived at Fanta’s house was to tell Fanta about her date with Anthony. Fanta had never liked the sound of Anthony, but for some reason Fanta wasn’t particularly angry and seemed more concerned that Vincent still hadn’t called Syafika. John and D’arby arrived while Syafika and Fanta were discussing it.

“John! What can we do to make Vincent realize that he won’t find anyone better than Syafika?” asked Fanta

“He still hasn’t called?” asked John

“No” said Syafika. Despite the sudden change in topic from Anthony to Vincent, Syafika was feeling sad enough at being reminded that Vincent hadn’t called for tears to start rolling down her cheeks.

“Don’t cry! Leave it up to D’arby and me” said John

“What are we going to do?” asked D’arby.

“We are going to remind Vincent of Syafika” said John

“How?” asked Fanta

“Yeah, how?” asked D’arby

“Do you have a special song? A song that will remind Vincent of the times he spent with you?” John asked Syafika

“I don’t think so” said Syafika

“Nothing? Didn’t you share music? Didn’t you listen to music together?” asked John

“Yeah…Vincent did give me a CD.I took it to work with me but hardly listened to it. Wait! It’s in here somewhere” said Syafika and she started rummaging around in her handbag.

“Here” said Syafika, and handed a CD to John

“The Very Best of Cat Stevens!” said John

“Yeah, Vincent things he is great but I found it sort of boring” said Syafika

“I know this song – The First Cut is the Deepest” said Fanta

“Did Cat Stevens write that?” asked D’arby, looking at Syafika

“Don’t ask me!” said Syafika

“That’s a good song to play Vincent” said Fanta “But how are you going to get him to listen to it?”

“I have an idea, but I’ll have to discuss it in private with D’arby first” said John. “What I need to know is where Vincent lives, works and the places he likes to go in his spare time” said John

John and D’arby seemed to be pretty excited by their new assignment. Fanta thought it would be better if she didn’t ask what they were planning in case she disapproved. Syafika didn’t really care what they did. She’d be happy if Vincent called her again but she would also be happy if Anthony called instead.

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02/02/2014

If you take too long to decide you end up with no choice

By Anna

What would you give up to save the world? Hot showers? Chocolate? Alcohol? Make-up? Driving? Your reputation? Your freedom? I’m not asking because giving up these things would directly result in the world being saved. I’m asking to get a sense of how much saving the world is worth to you (whether for your own satisfaction or for your kids or for nature or your legacy). Your answer should give you an idea of how much effort you should put in, that’s all. Because we can’t expect to be able to save the world AND still have everything we’ve ever wanted. Just like you can’t expect to be able to balance your household budget and buy everything you like. Living within your means and living within your ecological means are similar.

What should we do when greenhouse gas emissions are changing the climate (and while we can’t be sure of how bad the consequences will be we do know that they won’t be good)? Should we try to keep the economy growing and see if we can reduce emissions a bit at the same time? Or should we aim to control emissions first while doing the best we can for the economy?

What should we do when worldwide electricity demand is anticipated to grow? Put all our efforts into meeting that anticipated demand (fulfilling the prophecy) or think about whether the cost is worth the gain?

What would you do if your kids wanted more and more lollies? Get a second job so you could afford to buy an exponentially increasing amount of lollies and be able to pay dentists to repair their teeth and doctors to fix their diabetes and personal trainers to take them running to lose weight? Or only buy lollies occasionally and learn to put up with some whinging?

Maybe it isn’t about having to make a choice – maybe the choices are already clear. Maybe it is just about admitting that we can’t have everything.

The sweetest thing is that once you have accepted that you can’t have everything, you realise you didn’t want everything anyway. We are more adaptable than we anticipate!

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03/08/2013

The Inklings: Chapter 44

By Anna

To read the story from the beginning go here.

“What an amazing orator!” said John after the strange robed man walked off. D’arby just grunted and said nothing. He hardly said anything for the rest of the day, no matter how hard John tried to prompt him. At first John managed to remain good humoured, but by night time he’d had enough.

“What is friggin wrong with you?” John demanded after 20 minutes of watching D’arby spin a pen around on the table.

D’arby rubbed his eyes and sighed. “That man we saw at the café this morning who was wearing a white robe and preaching is the same man who sat next to me when I went to visit Jinabu and who stole my draft plan for saving the world. And the notebook he had was red, just like the one I lost on the train yesterday. The things he was saying yesterday were not really part of my plans, but it is as if he is able to imagine what I am thinking, only he is better able to articulate my thoughts than I am, and he is a much better speaker. Imagine how you would feel if you came across a more effective version of yourself.”

“Ha, I get you” said John, thinking of his brother Tim, although John hadn’t fully understood the significance of the robed man having a red notebook that looked like D’arby’s. “But isn’t it good to find that someone else has the same ideas as you?” asked John.

“Don’t you understand? Or do you think I’m just being paranoid?” asked D’arby. “That man doesn’t have the same ideas as me, he STEALS my ideas! But then he does better with them than I do. He goes out and tells people things, while I just sit around stewing.”

John found what D’arby said a bit disturbing, and did start to think that D’arby might be a bit paranoid. Afterall, it is possible for two people to have the same opinion, and to have the same colour notebook. But John decided to humour D’arby and see if D’arby’s mood would pass on its own. “That’s good though, isn’t it?” said John. “I mean, if he is going around and preaching your ideas then you don’t need to do it yourself and have more time to think. Besides, I don’t think you’d really enjoy doing what he is doing.”

“I guess so” said D’arby, after thinking about it for a while. “But it is a bit creepy. I can’t help imagining that if I look out the window I’ll see him peeping in at us”

John couldn’t help himself and found himself turning to look out of the window, but he could see nothing worth noting except the last remnants of sunset.

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18/07/2013

The Inklings: Chapter 43

By Anna

To read the story from the beginning go here.

It had been over a week since Syafika and Vincent had their big fight and Vincent still hadn’t contacted Syafika. Syafika was feeling unloved and thought that Vincent was being very self-centred. Vincent was showing his stubborn side and it really was a stubborn side. Syafika had spent most of the week staring at the telephone, hoping that Vincent would call and then getting angry when he didn’t.

Syafika was angrily washing the dishes and thinking about how awful Vincent was being when she heard the phone ring. She stopped washing the dishes and listened as her mum answered then called her to the phone.

Syafika ran to the phone because she thought Vincent had finally decided to apologise and she wanted to get to the phone before he changed his mind.

“Hello” said Syafika

“Hello Syafika! Why are you breathless? Is it because it is exciting to hear from me?”

Syafika took a couple of seconds to respond. Her mind had to change gears.

“Syafika?”

“Anthony?” said Syafika, finally.

“Yes. Did you miss me?” asked Anthony

Syafika couldn’t believe she was in the sort of situation she had once spent all of her spare moments dreaming about and wasn’t able to truthfully say that she’d missed Anthony.

“At first I missed you, but then I just got on with life” answered Syafika.

“I missed you” said Anthony

“What about your girlfriend and baby?” asked Syafika. She hadn’t forgotten about that!

“I made that up” said Anthony. “They don’t exist”

“Why?” asked Syafika

“Because I needed an excuse to leave” said Anthony

“Why? Why couldn’t you just say you were leaving?” asked Syafika

Anthony was sick of the topic though, and he ignored the question.

“So what are you doing tonight?” asked Anthony

“I hadn’t thought about that yet” replied Syafika

“Let’s go out for dinner then” said Anthony.

Syafika didn’t know what to say. She didn’t know what she wanted to do or what she should do. She’d been ready to spend the evening at home, waiting for Vincent to call.

“Well?” asked Anthony

“Ok” said Syafika and they arranged to meet in an hour.

When Syafika hung up the phone she was still justifying this date to herself. She decided it was going to be just a friendly dinner and that Vincent couldn’t have objected to that (although she was dreaming if she thought he wouldn’t) and that because Vincent hadn’t called her for a week Syafika could do what she liked. It was only when Syafika was satisfied with her reasoning that she realized she had agreed to meet Anthony in only one hour! Of course it was only going to be a friendly date, but it was still a date with Anthony. How could she make herself look perfect and get to the restaurant in less than an hour? She hadn’t even thought about what she would wear. She would be lucky if she even owned something nice enough for this special occasion and if she did there was no way it would be clean and ironed.

“Mum! Help me!” yelled Syafika.

Sixty five minutes later, Syafika arrived at the restaurant. Rose knew that Syafika and Vincent had been fighting but she had never known about Syafika’s obsession with Anthony and so she didn’t really understand what this date with a strange man was about. Nevertheless, Rose helped Syafika choose some clothes to wear and did her hair. Rose hoped that if Vincent was out of the picture the replacement was at least as handsome as him.

Anthony wasn’t there when Syafika arrived at the restaurant and so she immediately began to feel foolish. Why had she rushed? Now he would think she was keen to see him. Or what if he wasn’t coming at all? What would she do then? Would she have dinner by herself? Syafika wasn’t even wearing a watch so she couldn’t tell how late he was. She sat down at a table by herself and pretended to be looking at the menu while these thoughts floated around in her head. She was so worried about what to do if Anthony didn’t turn up that she forgot he might actually arrive.

When Anthony walked into the restaurant he saw Syafika staring intently at the menu, looking sort of worried.

“My lovely Syafika!” said Anthony, as he walked over to the table. Syafika looked up to see Anthony with such a big smile on his face that it was almost ridiculous. She couldn’t believe that he was so happy to be there with her, but that’s what it looked like.

“Hello” said Syafika. She was thrilled to see Anthony, but also worried about what would happen and she was feeling guilty because she wasn’t sure whether she was still in a relationship with Vincent or not.

Anthony sat down. “So what are you having? I saw you studying the menu carefully.”

“I don’t know. What do you suggest?” said Syafika, but she was just talking without thinking. She wanted to fill the space and make things feel a bit more normal because Anthony was still smiling crazily.

“It’s good to see you again” said Anthony. “I missed you”

Syafika couldn’t believe her ears. It was the second time in the same day she’d heard something that belonged in daydreams. Although things were different now and Syafika thought she still loved Vincent, she couldn’t help saying “I’m glad to see you again too”, although she didn’t add that she had missed Anthony, because that still wasn’t true. She had scarcely thought about Anthony since she met Vincent, but she knew that she would be thinking a lot about him now.

Syafika soon realized that Anthony had an agenda for the evening. He ordered some food (Syafika didn’t care what) and as soon as the waitress had gone he said “So, what have you been up to? I heard that you and Vincent broke up”. Syafika’s lies were coming back to get her. Anthony wasn’t talking about her recent fight with Vincent, but the story she’d made up about breaking up with her imaginary Vincent.

“Who told you that?” asked Syafika. Anthony must have been in touch with someone from work. Then their drinks arrived, so Anthony took the opportunity to avoid Syafika’s question.

“So, are you still single? Asked Anthony

At least Syafika had met a real life Vincent. It made it easier for her to explain what was going on now.

“I don’t know” said Syafika. “Vincent and I had a big fight and we haven’t been talking for a week.” As she said this, Syafika felt bad because she really didn’t believe that she and Vincent had broken up and she should have said so.

Anthony looked disappointed and confused. “So, did you and Vincent get back together again?” he asked.

“Yeah” said Syafika, extending her old lie.

“And now you have broken up again?” Asked Anthony

“I don’t know” said Syafika.

“Well you should work out what’s going on. It’s important” said Anthony. “Anyway, let’s talk about something else now.”

The rest of the evening was more comfortable. Syafika even managed to relax enough to be able to understand Anthony’s jokes (when she was nervous her brain didn’t work very well). At the end of the evening, Anthony walked her home, patted her on the shoulder, said he’d had fun and told her to take care of herself.

Syafika stayed awake all night, trying to work out what was going on. Three things were bothering her at once. The first was that Vincent still hadn’t called her and she didn’t know what that meant. She hadn’t thought that their fight would end the relationship and she didn’t want it to.

The second thing that bothered Syafika that night was whether it was right for her to have gone out for dinner with Anthony when she still thought Vincent was her boyfriend. Until she sorted out an answer to her first concern, Syafika couldn’t sort out the second.

The third thing that kept Syafika awake took most of her thoughts that night. She was wondering how much Anthony was interested in her and whether she had blown her chance that night. At first he’d seemed really keen. Remembering this made Syafika’s heart beat faster. However, after they had discussed Vincent, Anthony’s mood had changed and it had become less of a romantic date and more like dinner between friends. Even if Syafika and Vincent were still together, even if Vincent rang to apologise tomorrow, Syafika would still like Anthony to be in love with her, not just a friend. Of course if Anthony did tell Syafika that he loved her, Syafika would ask Anthony if they could just be friends (that’s if she decided that she was still with Vincent). Syafika was really disappointed that Anthony hadn’t tried to kiss her (not that she would have kissed him back, but just because she wanted him to have tried). Then Syafika thought about this a bit more and realized that maybe Anthony’s not kissing her was a good sign because it meant that he respected her too much to try when he wasn’t sure that she was single. Maybe it was a sign that he wanted to marry her! Maybe Anthony wasn’t sleeping either. Maybe he was lying awake and hoping that she and Vincent would really break up. Syafika didn’t rest on this thought though. If Anthony was awake, maybe he wasn’t thinking of her at all. Maybe he was out dancing and having fun. Maybe Vincent was out dancing too.

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02/05/2013

The Inklings: Chapter 42

By Anna

To read the story from the beginning go here.

D’arby’s Christmas break was very productive. By the time he got back he had filled a whole notebook with ideas and plans for saving the world. D’arby was keen to show John his notebook and discuss some of the ideas and so he rushed home from the train station, hoping that John would still be awake.

Of course John was still awake. He’d been missing D’arby and couldn’t wait for his return. Spending Christmas with his family had made John more passionate than ever about doing “something”. He had been daydreaming about the next family Christmas, where it would be him, not Tim, who everyone was impressed with. John also couldn’t wait to show D’arby all the interesting gadgets that Tim had given him.

John boiled the kettle and put bread in the toaster as soon as D’arby came in the door. Normally D’arby just wanted to have a shower and go to bed after such a long trip, but tonight he started going through his bag looking for his special note book as soon as he got in the door. Before D’arby could find his notebook John had brought him toast, chamomile tea and a handful of tiny electronic things to look at.

“Oh thanks!” said D’arby in an appreciative tone. “I’m just looking for my notebook. I want to show you some of my new ideas” said D’arby and he began taking everything out of his bag so he could find the notebook, but after every pocket of the bag was empty the notebook still hadn’t appeared. D’arby let out a few swear words when he had to conclude that he must have left his precious ideas behind on the train.

“Don’t worry” said John. “You’ll remember them” but D’arby was so tired he couldn’t remember anything he’d written and was sure that something really good would be lost forever.

“Oh, did you have your name on the book?” asked John. “You could call the lost property number and see if they found your notebook” suggested John. D’arby hadn’t written his name on the book, but decided he’d call in the morning anyway. He wasn’t hopeful though, and went to have a shower without eating his toast or drinking his chamomile tea.

John sadly unfolded the sofa bed and tried to sleep. He decided he’d cheer D’arby up in the morning by taking him to a café for breakfast.

John’s plan to make D’arby happy with a café breakfast didn’t get off to a good start because D’arby’s favourite café was closed until the middle of January. They reluctantly decided to try their luck with the place a few doors down instead. John and D’arby sat inside, but right near the large front window that was wide open. After they had ordered their breakfasts they eavesdropped on the conversation of the people at the table directly outside the window. The two men at the outside table were dressed suitably for the café, which was the most expensive in the area and either was, or successfully pretended to be, the place where important people had their coffees – or at least the place where the most high maintenance people had their coffees. The men outside looked like they had just come out of a beauty salon. Even John and D’arby could tell that their neighbours were wearing fake tans, had had their eyebrows waxed and their teeth whitened. Their hairstyles were more ambitious than anything John or D’arby would ever contemplate and their clothes looked so new that John couldn’t believe they had ever been worn before. John was particularly amazed by the bright whiteness of the T-shirt of the man on the left. John’s whites were never that bright.

The man on the right wore a black T-shirt with the name of an expensive brand written across the front in sparkly gold letters. The man in the white T-shirt had been explaining how the council had rejected his development application because it exceeded height restrictions and the man in the black T-shirt responded “So? What you gonna do? You aren’t going to leave it at that are you? Don’t be a pussy! Tell them who your Dad is. Take the Mayor out to dinner and get him drunk” and as he said this he took the last piece of toast from his friend’s plate.

“Hey! I was going to eat that!” said white T-shirt man.

“The quick and the dead man, the quick and the dead” replied black T-shirt man.

Then a man dressed in a calf-length, off-white cotton robe walked up to the outside table. He had shoulder length brown hair and a neat beard. His robe was accessorized with a faded, geometrically patterned woven bag (worn diagonally across his body) and he wore sandals on his hairy feet.

“Gentleman” said the man in the off-white robe. “You don’t need to pretend to be loved and valued. You don’t need to preen and build tall buildings. Those things hinder you rather than help you in the quest for the good life. If you want to be happy you should work on relationships, not appearances.

Both men looked angry by the time the robed man had finished speaking but the man in the black was the quickest to respond.

“Fuck off! Have you had a look at your appearance lately? And what are you doing wearing sandals when your feet are in that condition?”

John, D’arby and the robed man all looked down at the robed man’s feet, which as well as being hairy had dirty toe nails that could do with a trim.

“So do you get many chicks in that outfit?” asked white T-shirt man and he and his friend started laughing.

“Get many chicks?” asked the robed man. “I don’t want to ‘get chicks’ like women are some sort of purchase. Wouldn’t you deep down like to have a proper relationship with a woman – one with mutual respect?”

“Oh piss off” said black T-shirt man and he started playing with his phone.

The robed man shrugged his shoulders and walked off with a slight giggle. When he was about 10 metres down the street he stopped and took a red notebook out of his bag. While he was leafing through the notebook D’arby and John could hear him say to himself “That man really needs a hug. Somebody give him a hug.”

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14/04/2013

The Inklings: Chapter 41

By Anna

To read the story from the beginning go here.

In Syafika’s family the tradition for Christmas lunch was to have an early savory course, then open Christmas presents and then have dessert. Syafika liked that very much because the break between courses meant she could eat so much more – she didn’t have to save room for dessert. Syafika giggled to herself when she realized that now that Vincent wasn’t coming she wouldn’t have to worry about what he thought if she ate a lot.

When it was time to move to the lounge room to open presents Syafika was so blissfully full of perfectly roasted potatoes that she no longer cared what Vincent did or what her parents thought about her and Vincent. She didn’t even care when Ousman took the place next to her on the sofa.

Rose and Binta picked up presents from under the Christmas tree, read the labels and handed them to the right people. Everyone watched patiently and waited until all the gifts had been handed out before opening theirs.

When Rose or Binta found a present labelled “Amanda” or “Vincent” they put them aside without saying anything. Amanda was still in her room and unsurprisingly had refused to come out of her room for Christmas.

Syafika found that in her pile of presents was one from Amanda. It was a hair brush, which surprised Syafika because she needed one – hers had gone missing and she had been borrowing Rose’s hair brush for the last week.

Syafika looked at Ousman, who was being very quiet and noticed that he was delicately opening an envelope with a gold ribbon around it. Ousman took out a piece of paper and unfolded it. Syafika looked over Ousman’s shoulder and saw that it was a copy of a hand written letter. Ousman smiled as he read it, before turning to Syafika and saying proudly “Look! A letter from my Dad”. Syafika took the letter from Ousman and read it.

To my dear son Ousman,

You would not believe how happy I was to hear from you. I have recently been through an experience that no person should have to endure and am living in a place which offers only scraps of hope and comfort, but now that I know you exist I have a reason to continue.

If the circumstances were different in my country (which is also yours) then I would prefer you came to live with me there, but if it is really possible that we can meet then I would accept any way of doing that. I once promised myself that I would never return to your country but that was before I knew about you.

I hope your mother is well and that she appreciates how lucky she is to have you. You be a good boy and, god willing, we will soon meet.

 

With love from your Father,

 

Mamadou

 

The letter was signed in distinctly different handwriting to the rest of the letter and Syafika wondered whether Ousman’s father was illiterate. She thought it would be funny if he was.

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12/04/2013

The Inklings: Chapter 40

By Anna

To read the story from the beginning go here.

Emily picked John up on Christmas morning and John was very grateful. John knew his place was out of Emily’s way, plus he had so many presents to carry that he didn’t know how he would have managed if he’d had to take the bus, and John was feeling so scared about seeing all his relatives again that he didn’t want to arrive alone.

John had presents for Emily’s kids on hand when he squeezed into the back of the car to sit between their special booster seats. He’d bought a recorder for the eldest and a drum for the youngest and soon wished they hadn’t opened them in the car. Emily took many deep breaths but managed to stay calm. Her husband Greg wasn’t as strong and after 5 minutes of tooting and banging he fiercely told his kids to stop unless they wanted to get out and walk.

John couldn’t help feeling pleased with himself when he arrived at the Christmas party not only with presents for all but able to recognize everyone, even children he’d never met. This was thanks to Emily having used her photo album to show him what everyone looked like.

But then John’s brother Tim arrived. That was a surprise for everyone because Tim had been living overseas and hadn’t told anyone he’d be back for Christmas.

As John watched his relatives give his brother Tim a warm welcome he couldn’t help feeling jealous. Tim had brought everyone electronic gadgets as gifts that were made in his factory – the factory he had started in order to make the electronics he invented.

“That could have been me if I hadn’t stuffed up” thought John because he knew he’d once been just as smart as Tim.

Tim looked so happy, healthy and young for his age, while John had aged prematurely. One Aunt unkindly remarked that anyone would think that John was Tim’s father.

John was very glad that Fanta hadn’t been able to come with him. He imagined that Fanta would prefer Tim to him. All Emily had said about Tim was that he was a workaholic and single. “At least Tim doesn’t have any kids” thought John. “That would make me really jealous”.

Eventually Tim noticed John and came over.

“Hey!” exclaimed Tim when he realized who John was. Tim gave John a hug and John wondered what his parents had told Tim about him. Did Tim know he’d turned over a new leaf?

Perhaps John was just imagining it, but he felt that Tim was treating him with pity and John resented that. They’d once been equals, and good friends.

“It’s so good to see you!” said Tim. “I didn’t expect it. You look really well. How have you been?”

John didn’t open up and talk to Tim the way he would have liked to. He just gave brief answers to Tim’s questions and didn’t ask any in return. It wasn’t long before the very popular Tim was dragged off by one of their uncles to talk about the latest technologies. John sat down on the stone fence of the backyard and watched his relatives enjoying their Christmas like he wasn’t one of them.

“As if I could just buy my way back into the family with clever Christmas presents” thought John and he wished Tim had invented a remote control that would let John fast-forward the rest of the day.

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08/03/2013

The Inklings: Chapter 39

By Anna

To read the story from the beginning go here.

When Syafika woke up on Christmas morning she could feel the heat of the sun coming through the closed blinds and wasn’t sure if it was because she’d slept in or because it was going to be a very hot day. It was actually both.

“Its 10am on Christmas morning” realized Syafika when she turned over and looked at her clock. “Will Vincent come for Christmas lunch?” she wondered. Before their fight Vincent and Syafika had agreed that he would come to her place for Christmas and that she would go to his parent’s place on Boxing Day. Perhaps that firm agreement would be enough of an excuse for Vincent to end his display of anger. Syafika felt hopeful but didn’t want to feel that way. She preferred to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed.

The thing that was actually making Syafika most anxious about whether Vincent came to lunch or not was that she hadn’t told her parents about their fight, and so she hadn’t warned them that Vincent might not come for Christmas lunch. If Vincent didn’t turn up Syafika’s parents would not only be disappointed, but Syafika would have to put up with them demanding to know why he didn’t come. Syafika hadn’t envisaged her first romance ending with her being dumped. When Syafika’s daydream romances did end it involved her making a passionate break-up speech about how incredibly unfairly she’d been treated.

Syafika put on a nicer outfit than she would have chosen if she was sure that she’d only be spending the day with her family, and then she went to see what her parents were up to.

Rose and Festus had actually been up to a lot. Preparations for Christmas lunch were well underway. Festus had moved the barbeque to the shady driveway and was lighting it, Syafika could smell something roasting in the oven and Rose was making three types of salad. “Three types of salad, at once!” thought Syafika and wondered how it was that her mother managed to always do such a nice Christmas lunch when on other days she usually had trouble boiling eggs or making toast.

The dining table had been decorated with vases of red bougainvillea flowers and set with the best cutlery, plates and glasses. Syafika was imagining who would sit where when she realized that there were only five places laid.

“Mum, why are only five places laid at the table?” Syafika asked.

“Vincent called this morning and said he wouldn’t be coming” answered Rose.

Syafika’s face became very hot with embarrassment. She also felt intense disappointment and realized that she had expected Vincent to come. As the shock subsided Syafika began to feel angry that Vincent and her mother had conspired and made her look like a fool.

Syafika marched into the back garden and sat down to stew, but didn’t stay long because it was very hot and she was very hungry. She sheepishly went back into the kitchen to make some tea, but avoided making eye contact with her mother. Syafika didn’t offer her mother a cup of tea either, although she knew Rose would be dying for one.

While the tea was drawing Syafika opened the packed-full fridge and poked around, looking for something tasty for breakfast that wouldn’t ruin her appetite for lunch.

“Careful!” complained Festus when he came inside and saw Syafika investigating the precariously positioned stacks of food in the fridge. He’d spent quite a bit of time the night before getting everything to fit.

“How can the fridge be so full and not have something good for breakfast in it?” Syafika complained back.

“Have cereal like you have everyday” suggested Rose.

“You can’t have cereal for breakfast on Christmas Day!” said Syafika and she scanned the fridge shelves once more before slowly closing the door.

Syafika took a handful of salted nuts from a bowl on the dining table, and went back to the back yard, slopping some tea on the floor on the way.

“It’s going to be a crap day” Syafika said to herself as she sat down on the very hot iron bench. She slumped and chewed with her mouth open. She didn’t care if she wasn’t being elegant. She thought she may as well be a grumpy slob because nobody loved her even when she tried her best to be lovely. Then Syafika remembered the delicious lunch her parents were making and couldn’t help feeling a bit more positive. “I may as well try to enjoy the one day of the year that Mum makes an effort in the kitchen” thought Syafika.

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28/12/2012

The Inklings: Chapter 38

By Anna

John was feeling lonely and a bit anxious without D’arby, but tried to make the most of having the flat to himself, starting with a spring clean. John removed every trace of mould from the bathroom then every trace of dust from the rest of the flat. He even wiped the picture rails and skirting boards. When John had finished cleaning the oven he emptied out all of the drawers and cupboards, wiped them all clean and put everything back tidily. It wasn’t until John was bringing in the freshly washed curtains off the line that he thought about doing some ironing.

John hadn’t always liked ironing, and for most of his adult life he hadn’t bothered with it, but he did like the way that properly ironed clothes looked so neat and tidy. Doing the ironing also helped John to feel calm. However, John knew that if he did some ironing in D’arby’s flat he wouldn’t be able to enjoy it because he’d feel guilty and imagine that D’arby would know what he was up to. So John put his crinkly clothes into the bag on his two-wheel shopping trolley and walked to Fanta’s house. It didn’t matter that she wasn’t there – John now had his own key.

When Fanta arrived home she found that John had the ironing board out in the lounge room and was singing to himself as he pressed the button on the iron to squirt steam onto a pair of jeans.

“What’s wrong?” asked Fanta, without really knowing why she said it.

John looked confused at first, as if he didn’t know why Fanta would ask such a question but then he thought again, put down the iron, sat down on the sofa and put his head in his hands.

“Tomorrow is Christmas!” said John in a terrified voice. Then he added “And I have to spend it with my family!”

Fanta couldn’t help laughing.

“It isn’t funny!” said John, although he couldn’t help having a short giggle at himself before adding “Your family loves you but mine hates me and I don’t know if anything I can do can make up for all the awful things I’ve done in the past.”

“They don’t hate you” said Fanta. “They just want you to have a good life. I’m sure they can’t wait to see you.”

John felt much better after hearing that and decided he didn’t need to finish his ironing. He squashed the jeans he had been ironing back into the bag on his shopping trolley and unplugged the iron.

“What are you doing?” John asked Fanta as she turned her computer on.

“I need to print out a letter that was emailed to my Uncle. It is a Christmas present for Syafika’s cousin Ousman.” answered Fanta.

John watched Fanta open up a file containing a scan of a hand written letter. He then averted his eyes because he thought it would be rude to read it and waited as Fanta printed it out, folded the letter up and put it in a red envelope. She wrote “Ousman” on the envelope and then tied a piece of gold ribbon around it.

“Let’s walk to Syafika’s place now and put it under their Christmas tree” said Fanta.

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03/12/2012

Not alone

By Anna

By The Inkling

Dear readers,

You may have been disappointed recently by the long time between posts on this blog and I am sorry for that. There has been so much on my plate and on my mind that I have been overwhelmed, but now I am going to try to delight you with a post that covers everything!

There has been lots of bleak news lately and I have found myself sitting at home, despairing and getting angry with all the stupid people out there who aren’t doing anything to save the world. This made me feel very lonely, until I started thinking things through calmly.

When I was a child I remember that I counted a couple of trees near the house as friends. They were Cypress Pines and were easy to climb, but I usually just sat on one of the lower branches. I felt, or just imagined, that I was communicating with the tree as I sat there. I visualized or sensed the life in the tree. Perhaps I was just imagining the sap flowing below the bark, but this calmed me and I felt like we understood each other. By the time I was a teenager both of these trees had been chopped down because it was a bushfire hazard to have such flammable trees so close to the house (so even people who truly love the bush cannot live in it without the bush being worse off), but I still remember the comforting feeling of having something in common with a tree. I could be alone in the bush and never feel lonely.

I have never been someone who was flowing down the mainstream, but I cannot believe that I am so unique that nobody else out there is being scared almost to death by the recent reports on how climate change is already getting out of hand or that nobody else frantically reads through articles, books and blogs looking for answers or stays awake at night trying to find a solution. Even if I were conceited enough to believe that only one in a million people cares as much as I do then, in the seven billion people out there, there must be at least another 7000 who care as much as me. I am not alone, and nor can I be all that rare.

What if some of those people out there who I have been getting angry with for letting the planet be destroyed are also sitting at home despairing and including me in their “stupid people” and wondering why I am not out there saving the planet?

Yes! It is not just me who talks about how ridiculous it is that we are cutting down nature reserves and dredging the Great Barrier Reef so we can export even more coal when coal is already doing a good job of killing the planet. It is not just me who cheers when GDP is down because we know that when the economy is growing our environmental impacts are too. It is not just me who would prefer it if our city/town/country didn’t become busier.

And yet the focus is still on keeping the economy growing, more mines are being approved, governments have no plans for sustainability and nobody in power is racing to stop climate change. People who do care about the future are being kept busy putting out spot fires – saving one piece of forest or coast or farm takes a lot of work and there will always be pressure on these areas if the economy must keep growing. Even creating a new reserve or national park does not mean we have more natural landscape than before, it just means that one piece of what we already had is less accessible to people looking for profits.

I may not be alone, but is it possible that in the midst of all this craziness that the majority of people would prefer the planet not be destroyed? What if it is just that our democracy is not working? In a true democracy how could 1% (or 0.1%) be doing what they like at the expense of everyone else?

And now we see that climate change means that our alternatives are no future or, despite our best possible efforts, a planet that is much less habitable than we were expecting, but I’m trying to get over being scared. Life is relentless. There will always be problems and, to some degree, people are good at adapting. It is scary to think of the radical change necessary to have even just a chance of a livable planet, but imagine how delicious it would be to be one of the people who was putting the brakes on and stopping us from crashing into the wall and compare that to how shocking it would be to be a passenger if we don’t stop in time.

In the end it doesn’t really matter what the problem is, it matters that people who want the problem solved are not being effective enough to solve it.

Have you had your ideas dismissed or ignored by someone who you thought believed in the same things?  Or have you ever found yourself dismissing another person or their ideas because they aren’t exactly aligned with yours? There is something seductive about being able to find THE solution to all our problems (imagine being the hero who saves the world!) but what if there isn’t one solution? And I don’t think there is. How could there be one simple solution to saving this complex world? The solution must be made up of lots of people all doing their own part. It helps me to think of us all being a small part of the same thing. If there is a meaning to life I think it is to keep life going, and at the moment we aren’t doing a very good job of that. I am going to keep going though, and I am sure I will not be alone.

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